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I have tweeted before that you need the right amount of selfishness for your well-being.
Whether one realizes it or not, being selfish is necessary for your well-being. Unfortunately, selfishness is viewed as being narcissistic or bad. Instead, being very generous and giving towards others is viewed as being nice and good. It took me experiencing the price and the cost of being overly giving for me to realize that there is a very expensive price and cost that comes with such high interest that depending on the cost involved, it can take months to pay it all back. The cost that I’m referring to is your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical well-being.
I want to clarify that I am not advocating that one should not be a giver and generous. No. Nor am I advocating for one to only think about oneself. What I am advocating is the right amount of selfishness and the right amount of giving so that you don’t compromise your well-being.
So with this said, what is the right amount of selfishness? I dare to say that the line is drawn when the amount that you are giving leads to your bankrupcy emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. What do I mean with this? What I mean with this is that if you are giving to the point where you start to lose yourself, where your physical health starts to be in jeopardy, where emotionally you are feeling drained, that’s where that line ends.
The purpose of being giving to others was not meant to drain you. If you give to others at the cost of yourself, you are no good to yourself nor to others. Think about this for a moment- what do you have to give to others when you feel down, tired and negative about your life? You don’t have much to give! You don’t have the capacity to be present for others. However, when you are in love with your life, you are mentally and emotionally stable and physically you are full of energy, you are in a state of abundance which allows you to give to others without feeling drained.
I think that in order to redefine selfishness, it is a must to remember that if you don’t take care of yourself in every way, you won’t have much to give to others, especially if you have to care for others. Those that you have to care for need you to be happy, strong, centered and all this is achieved when you make it a priority to take care of yourself. This doesn’t mean you’re not there for others or that all you do is just think about yourself. What it does mean, however, is that you make sure you tend to your needs and that you do your best to maintain your centeredness because you have on the forefront of your mind that by doing this for yourself, you will be able to give your best to others.
The right amount of selfishness is the one where you still make sure you eat right despite all that you have to do. You still make sure to take care of your body despite your responsibilities. You manage to somehow maintain that balance between being there for others and being there for yourself. I have to say this is not always easy but it is feesable and a must if you are to maintain your centeredness and be whole. You do your best to still cultivate your soul despite the responsibilites and stress. You still make sure to check in with yourself to know how you are feeling and thinking. You become aware when something is draining you and when this is the case, you give yourself some space if you have to give yourself space regardless of what others may think. You put as a priority what you think and feel.
I encourage you to start redefining selfishness and to add the right amount of selfishness by making sure that you make yourself happy, that you are taking care of yourself in every way, that you make sure that you listen to your needs and wants. Only by adding the right amount of selfishness will you be able to achieve great well-being and this is possible without making others feel bad nor by neglecting the care that you provide to others. Just remember that when you are good, you will be your best for others.